FYI, if anyone out there is querying agents, there's a fantastic resource to help you know what works and what doesn't. Check out Query Shark for some really excellent examples of how to revise your query letter.
Here's the one I'm using now -- you can see it's improved a lot from my first draft. I've also written a synopsis, but I don't know why agents want one. It's boring. I don't want to read it, and it's MY book. I can't imagine why anyone else would want to. I'm concentrating on agents who'll look at a query letter and first chapters of the book for now.
At the blackest moment of the Second World War, just as the Nazi conquest seems inevitable, an ancient power steps out of the shadows and offers the chance for salvation. They are the Gentry, vampires with the power to stop the war, and in desperation the Allies accept their bargain.
One hundred years later, the Empire stretches across half the globe. Most of its subjects live in peace, while a select few humans are bred and sold as slaves to serve the Gentry.
Born into this world, Rena Green does what is necessary to survive. A successful slave trader, she doesn’t think about the people she sells, until the day that she herself catches the eye of a rebellious young Lord, and is sold to him as a personal servant.
Brilliant and troubled, Malachi Blackwell seems to have bought Rena solely to antagonize the other Gentry. But as his servant, Rena slowly develops a bond with him that promises to grow from friendship into something more – until Malachi shatters her trust and drives her into alliance with a ragtag militia fighting to overthrow the Empire. Thrust into the heart of the revolution, Rena must find a way to kill the master she is beginning to love or condemn her fellow rebels to death.
THE GLOAMING is a fantasy novel complete at 168,000 words. Adult fans of TWILIGHT and THE HUNGER GAMES will enjoy this intensely personal story of love, loyalty, and betrayal set against the backdrop of humanity’s global struggle for liberation.
I have been writing fiction for ten years in various online communities, but this is my first attempt at publication.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.