lamiel_writes

I'm about to send my first ever query letter to my first ever literary agent.  Here's the draft (minus the agent specific info that I used in my opening).  What do you think?  Does it make you want to read more?

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So I've been reading a lot of 'Sherlock' fic set post Reichenbach, and seeing a lot of theories about the show, and to date I haven't seen anyone else advance my own theory, and it's driving me nuts.  To me it seems perfectly obvious, but no one else seems to think so.  So, for what it's worth, here's my theory.


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So my first ever original novel is finished, complete, caput, in the hands of my beta readers as we speak.  Well, except for the bits I still need to tweak about the nuclear power plant, and the computer hacking, and the plastic explosives . . .

I'm going to end up on a government watch list, I just know it.

I'll be posting excerpts and blogging about the experience of submitting a novel for publication on my soon-to-be-public novel-writing website.  The first entry will deal with selecting a name for the thing.  I've been calling it "Original Fic 2" for over a year now, and it's kind of stuck.

Now I have to figure out what to do with myself while I wait for my beta readers' feedback.  I suppose I could dust off that second 'Sherlock' story I started last year.

Wow.  I can actually write fanfic again.  Now THAT is something to celebrate.

Can I just say, THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!  I have all sorts of theories and ideas, but right now I'm just going to rejoice that Moffat has said there will be a third series.  Hallelujah!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a book to finish.

YEAH BABY!  IT IS ON!

SPOILERS

A Mary Sue in The Hobbit?

What the heck, PJ?  Didn't you learn your lesson with the Arwen debacle?  When the rumors first started about this she-elf archer chick I thought it was some Sue spoof, a joke.  But apparently it is all too terribly real.

Okay, I understand the temptation.  As a director of a major international film, the pressure is on to appeal to all the demographics.  So you look at your picture and you think, I've got dragons, dwarves, massive amounts of chain mail, odds are good for a couple major battle scenes with reasonable amounts of blood -- right, that's the boys taken care of.  But what about the girls?  After all, every good marketing manager knows it's the preteen girls who are the driving force behind our consumer economy.  So you panic, and think, "Right!  I need a girl!  Make her an Elf!  Stick a bow in her hand!  And hey, why not let her give Legolas a run for his money while I'm at it?"

Well, I'll tell you why not.  Because it's effing wrong, that's why not.  Yes, there is a lamentable dearth of female protagonists in Tolkien's work.  So what?  Speaking as a member of the female demographic, I'll tell you it is not the female characters, Sues or not, who are the reason we watch these movies and read these books and spend insane amounts of time and money in this fandom.  So why do we do it?  Why did I, for example, see "The Return of the King" seven times in the theater and write a 1,000+ page novel set in Middle-earth?

Two words.  Hawt boys.

Yes, Tolkien's world is an epic masterpiece, the backdrop for unlimited scope of imaginative tales.  Yes, it is a timeless saga of Right vs Wrong, Good vs Evil, Nature vs Machine.  But more than all of that, the LOTR trilogy had Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Bean, Elijah Wood, Hugo Weaving, what's his name, the guy playing Faramir -- all of them looking bad-ass and wise and angsty and in various states of undress at different times -- and believe me, Eowyn rocks, but she is NOT what made us shell out $20 a pop to sit in a sticky theater seat for three hours at at a time week after week.

So PJ, please, ditch the Elf chick.  We don't need her.  We don't want her.  We will hate her if she's on the screen, and we will actively root for her demise.  And if she has so much as one slightly misty-eyed scene with our Elf prince we will hunt her down and take her out ourselves.

You want a female protagonist?  You already have Galadriel, LEADING the effing White Council for crying out loud.  Put her in chain mail, give her a sword, and let her lead the charge on Dol Guldur if you want.  Fine.  Just keep your OFC out of our fandom, and away from our boys.

Am I a horrible shallow person for wanting PJ to break from canon in order to give my favorite character more screen time?  I mean, we already have one confirmed brilliant archer in the lineup, why do we need two?  I mean, in all honesty, does anyone REALLY care about Bard and his black arrow?

Maybe I am just shallow.

Bard cast in The Hobbit

Seriously, I might not survive this movie's opening weekend.  I'll already be a puddle of loosely animated goo from the combined impact of Martin Freeman and Orlando Bloom on the big screen.  If Smaug speaks with Benedict's voice I may well just keel over on the spot.  Kaput.  But really, what a way to go.

 Benedict Cumberbatch is in the Hobbit!

Thranduil has been cast! 

I'm about 95% happy about PJ's choice here.  I actually really liked Lee Pace in 'Pushing Daisies' , and in general I think comedy actors make the best actors.  Plus, and this is critical, he has the height to carry the role.

My chief reservation is that he's so young.  He's actually a little younger than Orlando Bloom, and while I know that Elves are immortal, that's a heck of a good aging process.  I was expecting an actor a bit more of Hugo Weaving's age.  Still, I trust PJ, and with the right costume and makeup, Lee might pass for Legolas' father.

Finally, I know that some folks were hoping Orlando would play Thranduil, but I wasn't one of them.  First, I want Legolas at the Battle of the Five Armies (I want Legolas leading the battle and, ideally, killing Smaug.  All respect to Bard, but come on, Legolas!  With a flying dragon overhead!  It makes a heck of a lot more sense than the single-handed taking out of a Mumak in ROTK.)  Second, if you put Orlando in a golden wig, people will assume it's Legolas.  They just will.  Middle-earth is is a complicated place, even in the Hobbit, and there's no reason to confuse the audience any more than necessary.  A lot of the casual viewers couldn't tell the difference between Osgiliath and Minas Tirith, remember.  So make it easy on them, and let Orlando be Legolas, and Lee be Thranduil.  Third, and best of all, now we have two gorgeous Elves to lust after!  How awesome is that?

NB: For the record, this is

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Lee has a lot to live up to.

I don't know what is more exciting about PJ's new video clip, the interview with Ian McKellan, the shots of Rivendell (Elves!  There will be Elveses, precious!), or Martin Freeman's new pudgy little Hobbit belly.  Actually, no, Martin Freeman is definitely the most exciting part for me.  I just can't wait until the BBC's Sherlock returns with a canon-compliantly hefty Watson.

Peter Jackson unveils the start of filming of The Hobbit.